Sunday 31 December 2017
Saturday 30 December 2017
The 3 trippiest space discoveries from 2017 for when you’re high
Stoners and space go together like protons and gluons. Weed can help release your mind from the day-to-day grind and let it fly through the atmosphere to contemplate the stars. Space is an unimaginably large mystery, but we’re learning more every year.
Scientists all over the world dedicate their lives to trying to understand the cosmos. But science is a slow, methodical process. And it’s even slower when it comes to learning about celestial bodies that are billions of light-years away. Even though this process is slow, 2017 was a big year for space discoveries. Here are some of the craziest space discoveries from 2017 for the next time you’re high.
1) The Biggest Black Hole Ever
Black holes are like question marks that end each sentence of the universe. The prevailing theory is when matter collapses in on itself, a black hole is formed. Black holes are so massive, not even light can escape their gravitational pull.
The average black hole is about 10 to 100 solar masses. Bigger black holes, like the one at the center of the Milky Way, are as massive as several million suns.
Earlier this year, researchers discovered a black hole as massive as 800,000,000 suns. If that’s difficult to understand, it’s about the same mass as 8 quadrillions of our planet. What’s even crazier about this black hole, though, are the details of its discovery.
Since black holes suck up light rather than emit it, we can’t actually see the black hole. Instead, as the black hole roams through space like a giant vacuum cleaner, we see light from the friction of particles swirling around it. These particles start spinning so fast we can see the light they create from billions of light years away.
In addition to being the largest black hole ever discovered, it is the oldest. The light from the particles around this black hole took more than 13 billion years to reach us. That means this black hole is only a few hundred million years younger than the beginning of space and time itself.
2) Gravitational Waves
Gravitational waves are like ripples on a pond after you throw a stone in, except instead of water, the ripples are in reality itself. They happen when a massive explosion or collision happens somewhere in space, and they travel at the speed of light out in all directions.
People have theorized about gravitational waves for years now, but it wasn’t until this year that we actually built machines that can observe them. Once we observed gravitational waves ripple through the earth, it wasn’t long until we discovered at least one source of their causes: two black holes colliding.
NASA and other space agencies all worked together months ago to point the world’s research satellites at the same patch of sky to observe this massive explosion. The properties of gravitational waves, and what they mean about the makeup of space, isn’t totally clear yet. It’s still amazing to think that every once in awhile, your entire body ripples imperceptively because of an explosion hundreds of trillions of miles away.
3) Thousands of Exoplanets
Obviously, the most tantalizing discovery for space agencies to make would be life on other planets. While that hasn’t happened (yet), there are more planets discovered every day that could potentially hold life.
It’s hard to believe, but planets outside our solar system were just a theory until 1992. Since that initial discovery, we’ve found thousands of planets just like earth orbiting distant stars. NASA has discovered thousands of exoplanets over the years, but only 30 or so look like they could sustain life in the same way earth does. In 2017, we discovered 7 Earth-sized exoplanets orbiting the habitable zone of a single star.
There’s no reason to assume that any of these planets have life on them. But, we know these planets are out there and we’ve only looked for 25 years.
Is there life on other planets? Will we ever find it or communicate with it? Are we wondering about beings that somewhere are wondering about us?
We might answer these questions faster than you think.
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Friday 29 December 2017
Thursday 28 December 2017
Watch rising trap star Kodak Black freestyle for 12 minutes
Meandering around a midday parking lot, rapper Kodak Black decided to perform a 12-minute freestyle rap for the camera. That’s two minutes longer than Black Thought’s impressive ten-minute spit on Hot 97 earlier this month and forty minutes shorter than the average doom metal track.
In the 12-minute screed, Kodak Black (real name Dieuson Octave) covers everything from marijuana edibles, jail time and people shitting themselves. The rising trap star starts off a little wobbly, as if he’s been caught completely off guard before sinking his teeth into it. Black warns: “this shit right off the top, dawg.” Then, Black begins to find his cadence and strokes it out for a 12-minute session.
Kodak Black raps over a Lil Baby track called Freestyle, originally produced by Joseph Davinci. At no point does Black gesture or signal to anyone to cut the loop off, casually swaying around the parking lot with a white cup in hand.
The recording came a week after Black claimed his verses were ‘realer’ than Jay-Z’s over Instagram. It’s a ballsy claim for someone who is only 20 years old.
But 2017 is arguably Kodak Black’s biggest year in his career so far. In March, Black released “Painting Pictures,” his first studio album, which climbed all the way to the #2 Billboard spot for hip-hop. With guest spots by Young Thug and Future, “Painting Pictures” went gold by August. His success has risen even as he’s faced mounting criminal charges. The year started off with charges of assault in a Miami strip club which were dropped while he was already in jail for violating house arrest.
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Wednesday 27 December 2017
Dave Chapelle will drop two new specials on New Years
So you’re hitting December 31st without any New Year’s Eve plans. Netflix has you covered. Come New Year’s Eve, the streaming network will introduce two brand new Dave Chappelle stand up specials.
When Chappelle made his big return last March, fans and critics were a little cooler on his new comedy specials compared to the frenzy surrounding his sketch comedy series years prior. It’s likely the let down will be addressed in in these latest installments, which have been filmed as recently as November. Netflix, after all, has bet $40 million dollars on them.
Dave Chappelle is one of the biggest comedians of the millennium. After a few 90s roles in films like Robin Hood: Men In Tights and Half Baked, Chappelle’s career took off with his influential Chappelle’s Show, which ran between 2003 and 2006 on Comedy Central. After his meteoric rise, the comedian swiftly retired from the limelight, laying low and doing small gigs for the better part of a decade. He made his return in late 2016, hosting an episode of Saturday Night Live, the first episode after Donald Trump was elected president.
Shortly after Dave Chappelle hosted SNL, Netflix announced a partnership with the comedian. For every special Chappelle created for the streaming service, Netflix would pay him $20 million dollars. So it should come as no surprise that two separate specials dropped in March at once: The Age of Spin and Deep in the Heart of Texas. On New Year’s Eve, Dave Chappelle is doubling up again, with Equanimity and The Bird Revelation.
Personally, I would have dropped the new specials on New Year’s Day. And then called one of them ‘New Year’s Dave.’ But that’s the only reason.
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The 10 best moments from Rick and Morty
L-l-listen. Rick and Mor*burrp*ty is one of the best shows to hit television in decades. It’s funny, heartfelt, and explores concepts most cartoons shy away from. Three seasons in, there are a ton of great moments from the world’s favorite grandpa and grandson sci-fi team.
To give the uninitiated a taste of how great this show is—or to push those who’ve already seen it to sit down for their fourth rewatch—here are the ten best Rick and Morty moments.
10) The Psychedelic Wormhole
On a spaceship that travels through wormholes, Jerry attempts to disarm an alien who’s trying to kill Rick. In the struggle, the alien shoots the ‘temporal shield’ that protects the spaceship from the strange effects of traveling through a wormhole.
Turns out, those effects are psychedelic in nature. Some of the images are disturbing, like a time lapse of a rotting alien corpse or Rick and Jerry wrestling naked. Some are just interesting, like Jerry with giant clocks for eyes. Oh, and at one point Rick’s disembodied head floats by while it says “I have shit on my ass.”
9) The E.B. White Joke
Rick asks a murderous, Mad Max style post-apocalyptic tribe of cannibals if they ever use their Thunder Dome. When one of the cannibals tells him it’s a “Blood Dome,” Rick replies “save it for the semantic dome, E.B. White.”
Most people know author E.B. White for “Stuart Little” and “Charlotte’s Web,” but he also co-wrote “The Elements of Style,” a style guide for writing in English. One of the cannibals gets the joke so Rick points and snaps at him. A lot of Rick and Morty fans like to pretend the show is too smart for the average person. It’s not, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t insanely clever jokes worth looking into if you don’t get them right away.
8) Rick’s Rant
The end of the very first episode distills the hilarity of Rick and Morty in a single moment: a one-minute long speech from Rick.
While Morty writhes in pain from the Mega Seeds dissolving in his rectum, Rick lays out his plans for adventures. Well, he lays out that he wants to go on adventures…for a hundred years. Something about Rick’s abusive speech, the soaring music, and Morty’s pained whimpers ties together this whole scene and introduces us to the show’s key characters in a way that gives us a pretty good idea of what’s to come.
7) Evil Morty Returns
Maybe the most memorable moment from the first season comes in the last episode. Rick and Morty square off against evil versions of themselves and come out on top. The evil Rick dies, but evil Morty walks away from it all, only to reveal that he was controlling the evil Rick the entire time through his eye patch. That moment was awesome, but it has nothing on evil Morty’s come back.
While normal Rick and Morty have a self-contained adventure in Atlantis, The Citadel of Ricks (a collection of Ricks and Mortys from different universes who’ve formed a government) has an election. For the first time, a Morty looks like he might become president of the Citadel. Eventually, that Morty wins the election, and we learn that it’s actually evil Morty after a cold and calculated speech.
The genius of this scene isn’t a returning villain. It sets up a whole other arc for the next season. Plus, the reveal doesn’t include any dialogue. We hear Blonde Redhead’s song For the Damaged Coda, which is basically evil Morty’s theme. Then we see a photo of Evil Morty with his old eye-patch. Evil Morty plotted in the background for 19 episodes. There’s no way to know when and if he’ll be back, but if he does show up again, expect a colossal showdown.
6) Rick and Morty Lose it
The opening of this episode shows Rick and Morty on a kind of classic adventure. They save the day, are awarded medals Star Wars style, and get back in Rick’s space car.
But instead of Morty having trouble with the ethical implications of their actions, both Rick and Morty just break down and cry. They nearly died, again, and the strain is just too much. It’s a revealing moment that offers a glimpse into our heroes’ vulnerabilities.
5) Rick’s Rant II (Szechuan Sauce)
In a throwback to the pilot episode, Rick lords over Morty and rants in the garage…again. This time Morty’s not paralyzed by seeds in his anus, he’s paralyzed by the realization of Rick’s evil plan to take over the family. This whole rant is hilarious, but most people probably know it from the real world debacle it caused because Rick talks about how much he loves Szechuan Sauce.
4) Where are my testicles, Summer?
When Rick makes the family dog intelligent, dogs in mech suits take over the world. During the canine rise to power, Snuffles questions Summer, Rick’s granddaughter, and Morty’s sister, about what happened to his testicles and announces that his name isn’t Snuffles, it’s Snowball because his fur is pretty and white. Not a lot of analysis needed here, it’s just funny.
3) Pickle Rick’s Mech Suit
The show does a great job of humanizing Rick. But, when Rick’s a pickle, all bets are off and he’s a full-blown action hero. This starts with Rick falling down a sewer, cracking a cockroaches’ skull open, and poking its brain to move its body. A pickle killing a cockroach and controlling its body sounds disturbing, not funny, but Rick and Morty make it both.
2) Keep Summer Safe
This is less of a moment and more of an entire plot. Rick tells his car to “Keep Summer Safe.” When a man with tattoos approaches the car, it cripples him. Summer horrified tells the car not to kill the next man who approaches so it instead paralyzes him. It’s dark and totally messed up, but in the end, there’s peace between Giant Spiders and humans, so it’s not all bad.
1) Rick’s Near Suicide
Rick breaks up with his partner, the collective consciousness called Unity. That and Rick’s already isolated nature compounds his loneliness, and he tries to take his own life. He passes out just in time and ultimately survives. It’s an absolutely gut-wrenching moment that isn’t treated lightly. The music (Chaos Chaos’ Do You Feel It) ties the whole scene together with sadness. There’s nothing funny about this moment, but it gives this absurd show gravity which it makes it so much better than your run-of-the-mill sitcom.
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Tuesday 26 December 2017
After finding a hidden grow-op, cops leave behind this hilarious note
Who says cops don’t have a sense of humor? Well, probably every grower who’s ever had their door kicked in by armor-clad DEA agents leaving shattered windows and terrified neighbors in their wake. That is why it is refreshing to see an instance where police officers acted more like meter-maids than soldiers in an occupying army.
Make no mistake, officers in the UK still lay their lives on the line, but it’s just that kind of danger that requires an equal dose of laughs to keep a person sane.
After receiving a tip which led officers to a wooded area near Wolvercote Mill Stream and the A34 highway in Oxford, the Thames Valley Police (TVP) found a heap of cannabis plants but no one to bust. When the cops couldn’t find the enterprising gardeners responsible for this crop they carried on and left this note:
Tip off led police to a forest in Oxford; officers dug up the cannabis plantation and kindly left a note to the owner #WeveGotManners http://pic.twitter.com/jMpmDP2iXF
— TVP Oxford (@TVP_Oxford) July 7, 2017
“Oops! Sorry we missed each other, but feel free to call me on 101 so we can discuss a deal! Lots of love, TVP xx.”
On their Twitter page, the department tweeted that the note was left behind for the growers because, “#WeveGotManners,” proving that while the law might be humorless, law enforcement doesn’t have to be. While the politer thing to do would have been to leave those poor old plants alone, the cops’ response is a refreshing break from the usual tough on crime approach. Then again, Americans do tend to struggle with the dry wit of British comedy.
The note was written on an official police notice which might suggest that the message ought to have been something with a more formal tone. Though upon closer inspection, even the notice itself begins with the cheery greeting of, “Sorry, you were out” suggesting that this might not be the only time these cops have used humor to get their point across.
Last August, the department sent out a message on the day that Premier League football clubs were making their draft picks tweeting, “Please don’t check your phone for updates whilst driving, you’ll end up with more points than Arsenal.”
No arrests have been made in connection to the roadside crop. According to the BBC, the plants were “seized and destroyed.”
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Monday 25 December 2017
Sunday 24 December 2017
Saturday 23 December 2017
Friday 22 December 2017
Earth desperately needs these insane drugs from the Rick and Morty multiverse
Fictional universes are full of awesome drugs that don’t really exist. Whether it’s HFS from 21 Jump Street or Moloko from A Clockwork Orange, fictional drugs are always fun to think about. But none top the fictional drugs in the Rick and Morty multiverse.
Rick likes to drink. Which is a total shame, because even the boring real world has better, more interesting drugs than alcohol to consume. Still, Rick (at least, Rick C-137) has access to some of the coolest fictional drugs ever thought up by writers.
Kalaxian Crystals (K-lax).
Klaxian Crystals are a dangerous combination of rare and addictive. Rick is so focused on getting high, he doesn’t even care that Aberdolph Lincler sacrificed his life to get them. But, the high does look like a lot of fun. Rick’s eyes turn turquoise, and he invents a song and dance basically on the spot.
K-lax doesn’t last very long though, and before we see what else Kalaxian Crystals can do, Morty throws them away to stop Rick’s sweet party.
Perspective Enhancing Alien Pheramones.
Not much is said about Perspective Enhancing Alien Pheramones (PEAP), but we do know that you can smoke them out of a laser hooka, and they look a little bit like weed. We don’t get to see what happens, or what the high is like when people smoke these pheromones, but we do learn they’re very powerful.
Rick breaks out these pheromones because he’s in a petty pissing match with the President of the U.S. He brings diplomats from Israel and Palestine to a Star Wars cantina, and they get high and sign the Kind of Obvious if You Think About It Accords, ending the conflict. Whatever the high is like, the world could definitely use some Perspective Enhancing Alen Pheramones right now.
Mega Seeds.
Mega Seeds are a source of endless debate among Rick and Morty fans. In the first episode, Rick says he needs these seeds for his work but doesn’t elaborate much beyond that.
This ambiguity has spurred endless debate among Rick and Morty fans, and even lead to some fan theories that say the reason Rick is so smart is because he doesn’t actually drink booze, but some kind of Mega Seed juice.
All we know for sure about Mega Seeds is that if inserted rectally, they give whoever takes them temporarily super intelligence. While that sounds amazing, these seeds have a rough come down. It’s 72 hours long and involves excruciating pain and a total loss of mental and physical faculties.
Rick Potion No. 9
You’d think Rick Potion No. 9 would be the safest, best drug in the universe because Rick made it himself. There are some pretty terrible side effects, though. The drug is supposed to make Morty’s crush fall in love with him, but because she has a cold, that effect spreads across Morty’s school. Then the entire planet. When Rick tries to fix the issue, he turns everybody into disgusting Cronenberg monsters. Actually, Rick potion No. 9 is basically how the Reefer Madness crowd used to think about weed, except it’s actually dangerous.
Worm Hole Tripping.
While Rick, Jerry, and a murderous alien are on a spaceship passing through a wormhole without protection, they experience a joint psychedelic adventure, where their consciousnesses fuse to each other, and with time itself.
The trip is similar, if a bit more vivid, than a salvia trip. Inexplicable, fractal scenes roll by. For a minute, the experience seems to deeply change everybody involved, except Rick. Rick points out the trip itself isn’t the only similarity to salvia when he says, “cosmic apotheosis wears off faster than salvia.” So he just shoots the alien in the face.
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The 10 most surprisingly awesome liquids for your bong
Bongs are a great way to take a big hit, and they’re even greater because they cool the smoke through water before you inhale. But it doesn’t have to be just plain water, all the time.
Stoners, the creative tribe that we are, have come up with plenty of awesome bong liquids to make for a unique smoking experience. And with the spread of legalization across the U.S., we now have more options than ever before. What a time to be alive!
Now, you should realize from the outset that bong liquids have no effect on the high. Flavor and smoothness are the reasons people use them over water.
Let’s examine a few of those options. But first, we’ll dispense the obviously foolish ideas of using bong liquids like hot sauce and salad dressing (please just don’t).
The 10 Best Bong Liquids
1.Hot tea.
Hot tea—especially flavored teas with the essence of lemon, orange, or peach—is an interesting flavor experience. A big plus to this method is the fact that hot water, rather than the traditional room temperature or ice water, makes for much smoother hits. Avoid sugary teas; they can make your bong sticky.
2. Iced tea.
Iced tea is one of those bong liquids for smokers who prefer a cold-water hit to a hot-water one. Any flavor of iced tea will work. Throw in some ice cubes for good measure if you want to. Just remember, once again, too much sugar in there and you’re gonna have to clean your bong sooner rather than later. That’s probably not exactly how you planned to spend your high.
3. La Croix Sparkling Water.
La Croix sparkling water comes in 21 flavors, which makes for lots of fun experimentation. Mango is a particularly popular flavor choice, not just because it’s yummy but because of mango’s alleged ability to enhance the cannabis high.
4. Cranberry juice.
Cranberry juice has been one of the most popular bong liquids for a while. Fresh and ice cold is a great way to use it. As an added bonus, the acidity of the juice reputedly keeps your bong cleaner for longer.
5. Kool-Aid.
Kool-Aid seems to end up in lots of adventurous stoners’ bongs, and while it offers many flavor options, all that sugar can ruin your piece if you leave it in too long. If you must indulge, please clean your bong thoroughly immediately after. Don’t let this sticky gunk stay in there long, or you’ll need a new bong.
6. Mouthwash.
At first blush, mouthwash sounds like a weird thing to put in your bong. But in practice, the blue variety lends the smoke an enjoyable menthol taste with a smooth draw and minimal coughing. And just think of it: you’ll have the freshest bong-breath ever! Worth a try.
7. Wine.
Wine is a better choice than liquor as its lower alcohol content means it steals less of the THC from your hit. Choose wines with as low of an alcohol content as possible. In other words, you don’t wanna go with M/D 20/20. Weed smoke pulled through wine creates a very interesting flavor combo, making it worth the experimentation.
8. Liquor.
Whether it be tequila, vodka, whiskey, or rum, liquor often finds itself inside a bong. But due to its high alcohol content, it’s not the most ideal of bong liquids. (THC is alcohol soluble so you’re going to lose some of it to the liquor unless you drink the bong-liquor afterward.) Non-clear liquors can certainly offer a robust and flavorful hit though.
9. Gatorade.
This popular sports drink offers a rainbow of flavor choices and doesn’t rob you of THC. But it also contains quite a bit of sugar, which is not a good thing. If you want to experience Gatorade hits, it’s recommended that you clean your bong thoroughly afterward.
10. Orange or lemon peels.
Orange or lemon peels, added to the water in your bong, not only add a pleasant citrus taste to the smoke—their acidity also helps keep your bong clean. If you’re a fan of citrus fruits, you don’t want to miss this sensation.
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Thursday 21 December 2017
How to make your own dabs or shatter at home
Dabs have quickly emerged in the marijuana community as one of the most popular, effective and unique ways to get high. Dabs, also known as “shatter,” are a type of highly concentrated extract that resembles amber and are commonly vaporized using a method that involves a handheld torch and “dab rig” (basically a small, slightly modified bong).
But for those who still live in a state where marijuana is illegal, shatter can be difficult to find. Traditionally, marijuana enthusiasts have made dabs at home by combining marijuana with butane—a solvent which extracts pure THC from marijuana—and then evaporating the butane so that THC is all that remains.
But butane is highly flammable, making it dangerous. This technique can also be slightly tricky to pull off. That’s why a new, safer and easier method of making homemade shatter has become increasingly popular among dab enthusiasts.
How to make dabs at home with only a hair straightener and parchment paper.
1) Take about one gram of marijuana and put it onto a piece of parchment paper.
2) Fold the parchment paper in half over the weed so that your bud is sandwiched into the paper.
3) Turn the hair straightener on medium-low heat and let it heat up for 20 seconds.
4) Put the weed (still inside the parchment paper) in between the hair straightener’s hot prongs and squeeze it as hard as you can for five seconds. To accomplish this most effectively, squeeze down on the very tips of the prongs instead of squeezing them from the bottom of the hair straightener (as you normally would when straightening hair). Use cooking gloves if you can so you don’t burn yourself!
5) Then, open the parchment paper, take the flattened weed out and set it aside.
If you did it properly, you should notice a sticky, honey-colored material on the parchment paper. Usually, it will be stuck to the paper in a ring-shaped pattern around where the bud once was. This is your shatter (or dab).
To get the most shatter or dabs out of your gram of weed, you can try doing this a few times with the same bud.
That’s all, folks!
If this technique sounds ridiculously easy, it’s because it is. Just scrape the shatter off the parchment paper, and you’re ready to smoke. You can even use the same technique to extract shatter from hash or kief.
While shatter is best enjoyed with a dab rig, you can also add your shatter to the top of a bowl or roll it into a joint. This is, after all, how many marijuana enthusiasts smoked shatter before the popularization of the dab rig.
So there you have it: homemade dabs made safe, fast and easy. Happy dabbing!
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Guy gets pulled over by cop and geniusly gets rid of drugs with helium balloons
It’s a shame that so many Americans still need to hide their marijuana from the police, but this video almost makes it worth it.
The man driving a white van in the video was reportedly pulled over by the police after failing to make a complete stop at a stop sign. In the video, another man—who has had his face blacked out and voice rendered unrecognizable—claims to be the officer who pulled the man in the van over.
“I approached the vehicle and explained why I stopped him and then asked if he had any contraband in the vehicle,” says the alleged officer. The man in the van tells him “no,” at which point the cop returns to his police vehicle to run the man’s information.
In the video footage of the traffic stop, which appears to be filmed by a camera in the police car, you watch as the police officer walks back to his squad car. This is when you see the man in the white van stick his arm out of the window with two helium balloons attached to a small object. He tosses the object up in the air, and the helium balloons float into the sky, carrying the small unidentified object with them.
A few seconds later, the police officer is seen running back into the frame with his gun out, firing several shots into the air in an attempt to shoot down the helium balloons. But he is unsuccessful. Whatever the object was that was attached to the balloons, it was long gone.
Of course, nobody can be sure that the unidentified object was marijuana. Given the trouble the man went through to dispose of the object, it seems more likely that it was a harder drug like cocaine or heroin. Maybe it wasn’t drugs at all. And maybe that’s the beauty of this small act of criminal genius: we’ll never know.
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Wednesday 20 December 2017
The best distractions for when you’re waiting for your dealer
In the best case scenario, you already have weed. But oversight is a cruel and vicious beast, and an unaccountable dealer is crueler. Weed isn’t going to come out of nowhere (unless you forgot you left a gram in the top drawer).
Here’s a list of suggested activities to keep yourself busy while you’re waiting for your dealer, depending on how long you have.
2-3 Minutes: Check your email
It doesn’t take very long to see if you have any messages while waiting for your dealer. And if there’s something urgent, I’m sure the sender would really appreciate a prompt reply!
3-5 Minutes: Read up on this UFO business in The New York Times
Some folks seem to be upset that the New York Times sent their Pulitzer-winning Pentagon reporter to cover space aliens. Other folks are fashioning tinfoil hats. Not saying I’ve been convinced of extraterrestrial visitations, but it’s wild stuff nonetheless. See what you think while waiting for your dealer.
5-10 Minutes: Die like eight times in ‘Zelda: Breath of the Wild’
While waiting for your dealer, five to ten minutes is plenty of time to discover another shrine, find a nice new sword, or most likely die repeatedly by your own folly in Nintendo’s latest adventure in the world of Zelda!
10-20 Minutes: Prepare a batch of fermented soy eggs
While waiting for your dealer, it’s always good to prepare some snacks for after you smoke up—and to take your instant ramen to the next level. It’s as simple as peeling a few hard boiled eggs (put vinegar in the boiling water to soften the shells) and then leaving the fresh eggs in a simmering mixture of soy sauce, water and sugar. Easy, peasy and best of all, tasty!
20-30 Minutes: Play Timothy Leary’s video game
The acid pioneer did a lot of experimenting with technology, and in the early 80s, EA (yeah, that EA) released a game based on his dissertation. Finding a copy is only easier than finding a vintage computer to play it on, but the Internet Archive has your back with a free to play emulation. Get reborn as a tree while waiting for your dealer.
30-40 Minutes: Listen to ‘Born to Run’
Forty minutes is just enough time to listen to Bruce Springsteen’s third studio album, with raucous hits like Thunder Road and Jungleland.
40-50 Minutes: Call your local representative
It’s never a bad idea to call your local representative to remind them that you, the citizen who put them in office, want marijuana legalized. It’s not that hard to find out who that person is. Most importantly, when your dealer rings, tell your rep that you have to go because your drugs have arrived.
1-2 Hours: Revisit a portion of ‘The Hobbit‘ films
Were they really as bad as you remember? Only one way to find out!
2-5 Hours: Watch Errol Morris’ MK Ultra doc on Netflix
You could watch one of our ten best movies on Netflix. But if you have the time, why not burn through Errol Morris’ mini-series about the US government’s bewildering mind control program, which led to the proliferation of LSD and the 60s counterculture movement. There’s also a mysterious death involved. Peter Sarsgaard is in it!
5-20 Hours: Take up growing weed
Exercising your green thumb can be a calming and rewarding pastime. Plus, depending on your garden, you might consider bypassing your dealer altogether. You can start by figuring out where to buy the best marijuana seeds online.
20-50 Hours: Watch most of ‘Zodiac‘
I heard David Fincher’s account of America’s most infamous unsolved string of murders is good, but golly if it wasn’t such a marathon. You might have finally have the time though if you’re waiting for your dealer.
50-100 Hours: Create a catalogue of tree bark rubbings
No, I’m not joking. Take a few days to stroll around and figure out what trees are in your area. All you need is a pencil and piece of paper. Place the paper across the bark and then color over it with the pencil to create a pattern. You’ll be amazed by all the things you’ll notice that you never have before. More importantly, you won’t notice that (still) you are waiting for your dealer.
5-10 Days: Go camping
Those tree bark rubbings really got you excited about nature, eh? Well, if you have a little more than a week to kill, why not pitch a tent in the wild yonder and appreciate the simple things?
10-100 Days: Beat ‘Dark Souls III‘
Finally, enough time to overcome the average Japanese video game!
100-300 Days: Volunteer for a city council member’s campaign
Federal politics get all the hype but civic politics are often the most influential on your daily life. If there’s a city council member who really speaks to you and your causes, why not consider investing some time in them?
1-5 Years: Run for city council
You saw how others make change, now you can try taking charge. That’s the spirit!
5-10 Years: Reflect on why you lost your bid for city council
Get on up, dust yourself off and try again!
10-20 Years: Start a think tank
Council was child’s play anyway, this is where true influence is born.
20-50 Years: Create an escape plan
Where did this political dynasty go wrong? The target on your back couldn’t be bigger, your face known and despised. Your ambitions have eaten you alive. Why did you forget about the trees? The trees!
50-90 Years: Find a new dealer
Starting to think this guy isn’t coming?
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[UNIMAGED]- 4 reasons why life is more enjoyable when you’re high
From relationships to consciousness, it’s been said that once you hop on the sober train, all aspects of life improve. When you’re one to grasp onto a noxious substance like alcohol or prescription drugs too tightly, and for all the wrong reasons, then sobriety is an indispensable decision. But when it comes to the marijuana maven, why should they ever come down when for them, it is the herb that holds the key to a higher quality of existence? To prove that that statement isn’t just hearsay, here are 4 reasons why life is more enjoyable when you’re high.
1. Tolerating humans and their buffoonery is elementary when you’re high
You ever step outside the house and immediately think to yourself “ugh, people”? If so, then you’re just one of a million individuals that feel the same way. More humans are walking this planet and wreaking havoc with their moronic actions than we know what to do with, so no one can blame you for being somewhat of an introvert in this day and age.
Unfortunately, piling up these people and deserting them on a remote island is not realistic. Not to mention, it’s probably illegal. Luckily, though, getting high makes it easier to turn a blind eye and a deaf ear to the morons. Smoking on strains like Blue Diesel and Chem Dawg will have you feeling like you’re in your own little carefree world.
2. Whether you’re solo or attached, sexual satisfaction is just a spark away
When you’re single, the words “you don’t need another person to be happy” constantly spit out at you like a broken record. But guess what, regarding your sex life, you quite literally can accomplish great things all by your high self. In 2016, researchers from the University of Catania in Italy and Charles University and Masaryk University sought to reveal the aphrodisiac potential of cannabis. As it turns out, half of all the respondents to their study firmly believed that marijuana was beneficial to their sexual drive. In fact, 70% of the people that participated reported enhancement in both pleasure and satisfaction after smoking weed.
Of course, having a partner to share endless orgasms with is even better. Speaking of partners, in 2009, the Australian Centre for Sex discovered that pot smokers were more likely to have more sexual partners. Wonder why?
3. You not only wake up with a smile, but you also sleep as peacefully as a dove
Waking up with a chip on your shoulder almost always guarantees a lousy day. And when it comes time to hit the hay, being stuck in a sour mood doesn’t exactly promote a good night’s rest. Thankfully, there’s a solution to both, and that’s weed.
By waking and baking, you get to start your day with a more positive attitude. After all, there’s not much to complain about when you’re as high as gas and feeling right. Then, as the sun goes down and it gets closer to bedtime, firing up a sleep-inducing strain such as Grandaddy Purple or Afghan Kush will have you in dreamland before you know it, relieving you from a long, tedious day.
4. Being high makes you a happier person in general
Weed smokers are the happiest people alive. And that’s no fable; it’s science. Not only does cannabis boost your dopamine levels, but it also increases serotonin and endorphins, all of which are chemicals that cause happiness. The higher the number of these particular chemicals you have in your brain, the better you will feel.
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Tuesday 19 December 2017
The 5 best strains for high yields
Marijuana is a difficult plant to grow. First, you have to buy the seeds. Then, after weeks of tending to the seedling, you might find that the plant isn’t even a female, and therefore doesn’t grow bud. If you get past this stage, there’s light cycles, pruning methods and PH levels to worry about. Marijuana plants will also turn out different qualities and quantities of bud depending on when they’re harvested, and how precisely they’re grown. Needless to say, after all this struggle, there is nothing more disappointing than a small yield.
Luckily, some plant strains will offer larger yields than others. Knowing which strains are high-yield can mean the difference between harvesting enough bud for a few months, or having enough for the entire year.
Here are the best high-yield strains for those looking to grow the most weed possible:
1.Critical Kush
Critical Kush is the merging of the two popular strains OG Kush and Critical Mass, so you know it’s not just a quantity yield—it’s quality, too. Aside from having a notably cool strain name, Critical Kush offers users an indica-dominant, relaxing and euphoric high. It’s a great bud for relieving stress and depression, both in the smoking and growing stage, because of its short but powerful growing style. Critical Kush reaches its flowering phase in 7-9 weeks. Just make sure that this strain is grown in a space with consistent moisture levels to avoid mold. It’s best to grow indoors where moisture levels can be more easily monitored and controlled.
2. Super Skunk
This is another indica-dominant strain. Super Skunk, as one might guess, is known for its pungent aroma and powerful couch-locking properties. Users will feel relaxed, happy, and most likely ready for a nap. Super Skunk is a great strain for beginners to grow, in part due to its brief flowering period and enormous yield. If you are a beginner, though, beware: Super Skunk is extremely potent, and should be smoked accordingly. It’s also reportedly a great strain for dealing with ADD or ADHD.
3. Blue Dream
Another extremely popular strain, Blue Dream is a fantastically easy plant to grow. It’s also a strain that’s designed for the growing conditions of outdoor, California marijuana farms. For this reason, it grows best in a warm, California-style climate. If you’re growing in a non-legal state, just be careful: Blue Dream plants stretch high into the sky and are likely to attract attention. If you can pull it off, the yield is enormous. And best of all, it’s mildew resistant. As for smoking? Blue Dream is a hybrid strain that can lend users creativity, euphoria, and a stress-free high.
4. Strawberry Kush
This hybrid strain is well known for its sweet, fruity and delicious flavour. A cross between Strawberry Cough and OG Kush, it’s a strain that will easily put users to sleep. This strain flowers between 8 and 9 weeks, and is known for its yield to plant-size ratio. If you’re an indoor grower without a lot of room to work with, Strawberry Kush is a great bet for you. It won’t grow skyward like Blue Dream, but its yield is just as impressive. Since it grows best in temperate, mild climates, it’s great for beginners who don’t have much experience balancing moisture and heat levels.
5. White Widow
White Widow has had legendary status among weed connoisseurs for decades. And rightly so. It’s a strain that pleases users and growers alike, due to its high yield and potent, cerebral high. This strain won’t give you social anxiety, and it’s great to smoke before performing a creative task. It grows moderately high, and reaches flowering between 7 to 9 weeks. It’s also a mold and pest resistant strain. For best results, grow this strain indoors.
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Monday 18 December 2017
Ten movies on Netflix you should watch with your friends now
It’s that time of year when the outdoors suck, delivery food is that much more enticing, and you’d stock up at the video store if that were still a thing. But in the world of streaming, it can often feel overwhelming to settle on a good movie when every friend has a different opinion about which one to watch. Let us narrow it down for you with these Netflicks that never disappoint.
Ip Man (2008)
Donnie Yen (Rogue One: A Star Wars Story) stars as Ip Man, a famous martial artist (and eventual master to Bruce Lee) in Foshan, a city in China, as the country is transformed by the second World War. Fights were choreographed by classic kung fu star Sammo Hung, who even faces off with Yen in the sequel, Ip Man 2, in a memorable fight involving many, many chairs. All the action definitely qualifies it as one of the best movies on Netflix for an entertaining night with friends.
Cult of Chucky (2017)
Charles Lee Ray has come back as a maniacal, killer doll so many times that it’s easy to lose track, and in 2017 original Child’s Play director Don Mancini successfully played with that very concept in what we can safely is one of the best movies on Netflix. Various survivors of Chucky’s rampage have all been assembled for group therapy in a single asylum. Meanwhile, not too far away, Chucky’s first target, Andy Barclay, spends his time as a recluse, smoking weed with the decapitated but still wisecracking head of the original Chucky. So if that doll’s busy toking up, who are these other assholes?
The Day The Earth Stood Still (1951)
A camp sci-fi classic, The Day The Earth Stood still tells the tale of the world’s first contact with extraterrestrials, a shapeshifting diplomat named Klaatu, and his large robot friend Gort. In the 2008 remake with Keanu Reeves, the aliens came to our planet to warn us about climate change, while in the original the aliens came to prevent nuclear annihilation. Now both themes are relevant!
Hellraiser II: Hellbound (1988)
For a first time director, Clive Barker knocked it out of the park with Hellraiser, a tonally accurate adaptation of, albeit, his own novella. While the gruesome and erotically charged original is a classic, it’s the second one where things really go way off the rails. VHS superstar Tony Randall takes audiences into the world’s trippy, labyrinthian hell.
Basic Instinct (1992)
This movie owns and anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong. Eight out of ten times Paul Verhoeven can do no wrong. I’m not even going to get into Showgirls, someone wrote a whole book about that.
Pee Wee’s Big Adventure (1985)
Tim Burton’s first outing with a feature film remains one of his best—and one of the best movies of Netflix. Uninhibited, id-driven and rabid, Paul Rubens original man-child puts all YouTube celebrities to shame. I’m a loner, Dottie. A rebel.
Lessons of Darkness (1992)
Is Werner Herzog’s alien-minded meditation on oil and violence the cheeriest thing in the world? No. But how else are you going to get the extremely esoteric reference to it in the Rick and Morty episode where Jerry is asked to have his dick cut off?
Harry and the Hendersons (1987)
I’m not sure if this family comedy about a sasquatch living with John Lithgow will ever leave Netflix’s library. But that’s no reason to get complacent.
Jackie Brown (1997)
This film is Quentin Tarantino’s most reserved and, arguably, his best. Blacksploitation legend Pam Grier plays the titular Jackie Brown, a flight attendant attempting to hustle the people who have been using her as a smuggler. Along the way, she forms an unlikely partnership with a bail agent.
Force Majeure (2014)
This black comedy rocked critics a few years ago, making it surely one of the best movies on Netflix. When an avalanche seems to break out at a ski resort, a father, Tomas, abandons his family to save himself. It was a false alarm, but Tomas now has to weather the guilt, and mockery, for the rest of the trip.
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Sunday 17 December 2017
Saturday 16 December 2017
The five best stoner Christmas movies
With Christmas just around the corner, it’s time to think about traditions. Many families come together for the holidays to watch A Charlie Brown Christmas or Rudolph, but what are the best Christmas movies for weed-loving clans? These five are a good place to start.
A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas
This film might not be the best Harold & Kumar movie in the trilogy, but it’s still just as raunchy and hilarious as the previous two installments. Like any Harold & Kumar movie, this one is full of jokes about sex, weed and…a magic waffle maker that saves the day. It’s not one of the most conventional Christmas movies, but it’s hilarious.
At the beginning of the film, Harold has given up smoking weed altogether so he can keep his big career. Like all good Christmas movies, A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas ends with both main characters figuring out what’s really important. And I’ll bet you can guess what that is…but we won’t tell you.
The Night Before
Seth Rogen has made some of the best stoner films of all time so, of course, one of his masterpieces is going to appear on this Christmas movies list.
The Night Before follows a group of friends who’ve celebrated Christmas Eve every year by getting as messed up as possible. Since one member of the group is about to become a first-time dad, they realize this year’s Christmas Eve shenanigans will be the last. This sends them on a search for the greatest party in New York, which ends up feeling like a grown-up, holiday version of Superbad.
Friday After Next
Sure, two people trying to pay their rent before Terry Cruze can do horrible things to them isn’t the usual set up for Christmas movies, but the time of year makes Friday After Next a much more interesting story. The movie takes any number of stressors from around the holiday season, exaggerates them, and brings you along for the hilarious ride. Plus, weed plays a pretty integral role in the plot of this movie, which is always a nice bonus.
Scrooged
While Scrooged doesn’t involve weed, Bill Murray is a marijuana icon so this underappreciated classic deserves a mention.
Scrooged is a modern re-telling of A Christmas Carol, except Billy Murray is Scrooge. What’s great about this movie is that it’s got pretty cutting satire, rather than just cliché Christmas humor. It’s mean and unapologetic. But don’t worry, it still ends on a warm note for those who like to feel sentimental this time of year.
The Nightmare Before Christmas
Certain families watch The Nightmare Before Christmas on Halloween, others watch it on Christmas. Both families are wrong. You should watch The Nightmare Before Christmas both days. It’s a groundbreaking stop-motion movie, with some of the best music of any Christmas film.
The story doesn’t have anything to do with weed, but its surreal nature always make it a trippy experience.
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Friday 15 December 2017
Why are female stoners notoriously underrepresented in stoner comedies?
While men are overflowing in the stoner comedy genre, the female stoner remains ever elusive. Pull the name of any stoner film out of a hat, and you’ll find this to be true: Up in Smoke, Pineapple Express, Harold and Kumar, Half Baked, Dude Where’s My Car, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back—the list goes on. In fact, google “Stoner movies” and try to find one—aside from 2007’s essentially straight-to-DVD Smiley Face staring Anna Faris—that is about female stoners.
If a woman is seen in a stoner movie at all, it’s usually as the level-headed, semi-prudish adult responsible for reigning in their goofy male counterpart who just wants to smoke weed and have fun (think Katherine Heigl in Knocked Up).
It’s unusual for a comedy genre based on a gender-neutral niche, marijuana. In fact, according to some reports, women actually smoke more weed than men—and can generally out-smoke them too. Yet stoner movies remain stubbornly male-driven
Stoner movies remain popular because audiences like to see “themselves” on the big screen, especially when their typically stigmatized habits are normalized, even glorified. But female stoners rarely get the chance to see themselves as protagonists on the big screen.
On television, women have been making strides in the stoner genre with shows like Weeds, Mary + Jane, and to some extent Broad City. Sarah Silverman has long been an advocate for marijuana, memorably ripping a bong at the end of her 2005 comedy special, Jesus is Magic. But that’s about as far as it goes. We’ve yet to see a pair of goofy, stoner, female friends getting unnecessarily high then going on an outlandish comedic adventure to get fast food, or whatever.
To some, the appearance of female stoners in movies seems trivial. But as cannabis begins the final leg of its slow march to legalization, one of the greatest challenges has been the push to unravel weed from all of its pernicious stereotypes—a big one being that it’s mostly men who enjoy cannabis.
A big theme of the 2010’s has been the importance of on-screen representation in dismantling stereotypes, giving audiences an accurate understanding of the world around them, and allowing viewers of all shades and sizes to envision themselves in positions of success. Studies have even found that a lack of representation on television creates poor self esteem among the viewers who lack representation.
But if you’re a female stoner, you’ve likely seen very few portrayals of yourself on the big screen. It’s a phenomenon that calls to mind the most obnoxious of all female stereotypes. Maybe smoking weed just isn’t “womanly” or “ladylike.”
It’s also a representational gap that reflects entrenched societal biases against women who use substances in general, such as findings about the “moralistic tone” of reports detailing women’s drinking habits, and the “helpless, immoral” characterization of female binge-drinkers that men often avoid. (Men, in contrast, are often romanticized for their relationships with substance abuse.) The absence of female stoners on the big screen perfectly aligns with societal double standards that generally paint rebellious men as lovingly mischievous, and rebellious women as conniving, crazy or irreparably morally flawed. It’s also a continuation of the infuriating and persistent myth about women’s inability to be funny.
The lack of female stoner movies is but one small component of a massive representational bias in the film industry. It’s a gender gap that persists even though movies produced under the leadership of female casts, staff and executives consistently outperform those of their male counterparts.
Many look at the cannabis industry as a rare opportunity to establish a more equitable systemic framework. How often is it, cannabis entrepreneurs are fond of saying, that an entire multi-billion dollar industry emerges from the black market into the mainstream seemingly overnight?
But as women continue to push for an equitable stake in the marijuana industry, we can’t lose sight of the importance of on-screen representation. The impact that media, television and film have on our perception of the world can hardly be overstated. And on a less high-brow note, wouldn’t it just be nice to see women blazing up and embarking on hilarious, grandiose, Sativa-inspired exploits?
Women who smoke weed are responsible for some of the greatest comedic performances in recent memory. It’s time to finally put those two things together—weed smoking women and comedy—on the big screen for stoned women, and men, everywhere to enjoy.
Sarah Silverman in Jesus is Magic (Photo courtesy of Katherina Sadovsky via Youtube)
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Nonna Marijuana teaches you how to make cannabis-infused “Egg Nug”
Folks, it’s the holidays, and when you aren’t waiting for a big special cookie hungry stranger to drop down the chimney, you might seek other ways to get good and seasoned. If you feel like doing more than roasting by the open fire, a new episode of Vice’s Bong Appétit has a pretty solid suggestion.
Revisiting ‘Nonna Marijuana,’ a 94-year-old Italian food home cook whose specialty is cannabis culinaries, host Abdullah Saeed learns how to make some yuletide weed snacks. The last time Bong Appétit visited Nonna Marijuana, they cooked up braised chicken cacciatore and gnocchi with cannabis butter. This time, the reason for the season was ‘egg nug.’
“Did you just say egg nug?” asks Saeed.
“Yes, it’s a special type of eggnog that has been… treated,” responds Nonna. “And that’s all I’m gonna tell ya. We’ll surprise you.”
Blending together some honey, cream, nutmeg, cinnamon, bourbon and, of course, some fresh kief, Nonna Marijuana, decked out in her Saint Nick cap, walks us through a drink that’ll warm you up and roast you. Personally, I’m having a conundrum over this concept. On one hand, regular eggnog is disgusting. The only time I desire eggnog is when I’m high, at which point my mouth becomes a tunnel for a train made of cherry nibs.
Maybe I need to keep an open mind. If that’s my situation, perhaps a weed-infused ‘egg nug’ would be like killing two birds with one stone. Fail that, Nonna Marijuana also makes some Christmas weed cookies. Nonna is joined by her daughter Valerie, who runs WAMM, The Wo/Men’s Alliance for Medical Marijuana. An organization that helps the underprivileged get access to medical cannabis. They’re also visited by Santa, who runs a workshop in the North Pole that delivers presents to all the good children of the world.
“I’m very glad that the world has a weed grandma that helps as many people as she can,” says Saeed “And more importantly than that just spread the kind of kindness that cannabis exudes.”
“You’ve got a grandmother fetish huh?” responds the 94-year-old.
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Thursday 14 December 2017
Watch James Franco give Seth Rogen heat for only making stoner movies
There’s probably no greater bromance in stonerdom than James Franco and Seth Rogen. And since they’re not likely to give us another Christmas classic like The Night Before in time for the holidays, this year we’ll take whatever festive canna-humor we can get. Which brings us to the stage of Saturday Night Live.
When James Franco hosted SNL last Saturday, he took questions from the crowd and the segment was quickly highjacked by Rogen who used an audience member to ask a question.
“She wants to know how come you’ve hosted four times and Seth Rogen has only hosted twice?” Rogen asked, raising the hand of a woman in the audience.
“Well, why don’t you ask Seth why the movies I do on my own…get nominated for Oscars,” Franco says, “[when] the movies I do with Seth get nominated for a stoner award.”
“They’re called Stony’s,” Rogen shoots back, as the two continue to speak through the audience member like passive aggressive roommates, “Which is a hilarious play on the word Tony’s and that they are as prestigious as an Oscar, plus when you win you get a bag of weed.”
“Seth, I’m sorry,” Franco finally says, “there’s a rule that only one stoner can host a season and that’s me.”
But Rogen wasn’t joking. The Stony Awards is actually a thing and the duo have taken home their fair share of trophies. It’s put on annually and sometimes features just an article by High Times celebrating the “highest and stoniest movies” of the year.
The winners of the award receive a bong-shaped trophy and (possibly) even a bag of weed, as Rogen suggests. We don’t know what goes on backstage, but we’d like to think Rogen always has a bag of weed on him regardless of where he got it. Rogen and Franco have also each won Stoner of the Year awards, joining a list of entertainers which includes Snoop Dogg and Bill Murray. As for their films, Knocked Up and Pineapple Express each won the Best Comedy award in 2007 and 2008.
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Wednesday 13 December 2017
Tuesday 12 December 2017
Texts to send to your dealer this holiday season
Folks, it is that yuletide once again. There’s a chill in the air. There are lights everywhere. Mariah Carey is playing ad nauseam. The weirder Oreos are on sale.
It is the time of year to appreciate the important people in your life. Friends, family, neighbours, local baristas, barflies and, of course, that very special someone who’s been keeping you jolly all year around.
If you’ve got a good dealer in your life, then there’s no time like the holidays to make them feel appreciated. Through rain, sleet or snow, river deep and mountain high, they’ve turned up time and time again with the herbs and incense.
Here’s a list of festive texts to send to your dealer this holiday season. They’re not a request for anything in particular, just to wish them good tidings, regardless of whether they come in a car, on a bike or on Donner, Blitzen, Comet, or Cupid.
Thank you for bringing me herbs even if there isn’t a gigantic glowing star over my house.
I need something that’ll do me like chestnuts on an open fire.
Do you think one fluid ounce of oil could last me eight days?
I don’t know if you’re using the same list as that North Pole dude but, scout’s honor, I’ve been very good this year.
I don’t know what this shit you gave me is but I’ve been visited by at least three ghosts tonight.
Should we do a Secret Santa this year?
I was kind of hoping for more than myrrh.
It’s not a seasonal thing, sativas always make me dream of dancing plums.
Do you take gelt?
I know this seems like a low hurdle to pass over but I’m watching Home Alone 4 and French Stewart is no Daniel Stern.
Feliz naviDAB.
Do you happen to have any cookies left? I got a guy coming by.
One for me and one for my man, the snowman.
I’m sorry I keep sending you YouTube links. Happy holidays.
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Monday 11 December 2017
Sunday 10 December 2017
The Rarest—And Most Incredible—Strains of 2017
One of the greatest joys that dispensaries afford weed enthusiasts is the ability to try seemingly endless numbers of strains. (Not only is Alaskan Thunder Fuck real, but you can buy it, and even search its unique psychoactive properties online!) But for the truly committed smoker, there will come a day when you’ve seemingly reached the end of the road for new strains. And when that day comes, it’s time to take a journey—no, a pilgrimage—to find and smoke the world’s rarest strains.
When that day comes, these are the strains you’ll need to seek out—the rarest strains of 2017.
1. Lamb’s Breath (also called Lamb’s Bread)
This sativa dominant strain was originally developed in Jamaica, and according to some sources, was Bob Marley’s favorite strain. As you can imagine, this sort of attention nearly resulted in Lamb’s Breath being smoked off the face of the earth. While some dispensaries purport to sell this strain, the true Lamb’s Breath—the type allegedly smoked by Bob Marley himself—remains ever elusive. If you do find this strain, it’ll be recognizable by its uplifting, energetic and creative properties. It’s no wonder a musical genius like Marley liked it.
2. Puna Budder
This hybrid strain was created by crossing different Hawaiian and Afghani strains. It’s said to result in a euphoric, chatty and giggly high. In other words, it’s an all-in-one strain that can lead to all the best aspects of being high with a single joint. Unfortunately, it’s notoriously difficult to find. While it was relatively easy to find in the 70s, today you will need to carefully scour the California coast for any chance of finding it. If you come across it, Puna Budder can be easily distinguished by its grape-like flavor and uniquely social high.
3. Moloka’i Frost
This heavy sativa strain consistently gets outstanding reviews from those lucky enough to get their hands on it. While it was fairly abundant in the 70s and 80s, it got lost somewhere between the formation of A Flock of Seagulls and NSYNC. Moloka’i Frost is known to contain properties that would make it an excellent medical strain, if only it was more readily available. If you do find this strain, it’ll be easily identified by its sedative properties that will leave you feeling extremely relaxed, euphoric and stress-free. It’s also known for its potency, which can leave even a veteran marijuana smoker couch-locked after a single hit.
4. Roadkill Skunk
Granted, it doesn’t have the most attractive name, but this indica dominant strain crosses the ever popular Skunk and Afghani strains to produce a potent cerebral high in the beginning and relaxing body buzz near the end. Roadkill Skunk is a great strain for anybody struggling with insomnia or other sleeping challenges due to its highly sedative effects. It’s a must-smoke for any indica fans. But unfortunately, it’s also extremely rare. If you do come across it, you’ll be able to identify it by its unmistakable skunk aroma and dense, bright green buds.
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